My Creative Comeback: Hope, Healing, and a Little Yarn

For most of my life, creativity lived in the margins. A doodle in a notebook during a long meeting. A knit row or two on the couch when the day felt too heavy. I didn’t think of it as “art,” really—just something quiet that helped me breathe a little easier.

I was nearly 50 when I finally gave myself permission to try. Really try.

What Held Me Back

Growing up, I wasn’t exactly encouraged to explore creative things. I got the message, in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, that I wasn’t “the artsy type.” That creativity belonged to other people—people with natural talent, people with degrees, people who didn’t have to fight through a fog of anxiety or wrestle with their own thoughts just to get through the day.

So I didn’t paint. I didn’t write. I didn’t do any of the things I felt drawn to deep down.

I told myself those urges didn’t matter. But they did. They always did.

The Moment I Said “Why Not?”

Something shifted when I hit my late 40s. I realized that waiting for permission was getting me nowhere. That tiny flicker—the one that sparked every time I saw a watercolor set or walked through a yarn store—was still there. Still burning.

So I picked up the brush. The pen. The yarn. I started experimenting, not because I thought I’d be good at it, but because I was tired of silencing that inner voice that kept whispering: what if you just tried?

Creating Became My Anchor

I live with schizoaffective disorder – bipolar type, along with PTSD, panic disorder, OCD, and GAD. It’s a lot, I know. And for a long time, I felt like my brain was too noisy, too unpredictable, too much to allow room for creativity.

But here’s the wild part: creativity didn’t ask me to quiet the noise.

It gave me a rhythm to move through it.Knitting became a kind of meditation. Sketching gave form to feelings I didn’t have words for. Writing helped me sort through the tangle of thoughts and emotions that used to overwhelm me.

Creating didn’t “fix” me. But it became a lifeline—one I return to again and again.

You Don’t Need Anyone’s Permission

If you’ve ever been told (or told yourself) that you’re not the creative type, I want you to hear this: you already are. That spark you feel when you walk past a set of paints or see someone making something with their hands? That’s your creativity trying to get your attention.

You don’t need to be good. You don’t need fancy tools. You just need a little space to explore, and a willingness to be gentle with yourself along the way.

Here are 3 tiny ways you can start today:

Keep a “no-pressure” notebook for doodles, lists, or random thoughts.
Try a beginner knitting project or collage—something repetitive and forgiving.
Set a 5-minute timer and just play. With color. With texture. With words. Whatever calls to you.

Let’s Spark Something Together

This space—Ignite Your Inner Artist—was born from that spark. Because maybe you need an anchor too. Maybe you’re ready to say “why not?” and finally start exploring the creative life that’s been quietly calling your name.

I’d love to hear from you:

What creative thing have you always wanted to try? What’s held you back? Share your thoughts in the comments—I read every one.

And if you’re looking for a gentle place to begin, I’ve created a free Creativity Workbook just for you. It’s full of prompts and encouragement to help you reconnect with your spark.